At Bridges the term toilet learning is used instead of toilet training because toilet learning describes a process that is child-led.  As caregivers of young children we are responsible for reading cues of children, setting up the physical and emotional environments for success, and guiding as developmentally appropriate without pressure. 

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Based on my experience, I have designed my program in the following manner: 

1.  The restroom where the toilet and the diaper changing mat are located is the room used for toilet learning.  This is because I want children to learn that humans have a dedicated space to empty bladder and bowels.  I also want them to practice hand washing and having a sink nearby helps build that habit.      

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2.  Communicating with children in developmentally appropriate ways during the toilet learning process is key to success.  For example, when I change diapers, I tell children what I am about to do before doing it.  Based on their interest I support active participation every step of the way.  I keep it simple and positive.   

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3.  The physical environment in the restroom is designed to support the multi-age grouping of children in the program.  Examples include:

a.  The diaper changing mat is on the floor.  This is so that a moving infant is safe from falls.  It is also helpful when an infant starts to crawl as  the infant can move to the mat by crawling. 

b. The toilet and the sink have step stools to support children climbing up and down as needed.  

c.  I have installed a magnetic toilet seat that can be lowered when children sit on the toilet.  You can get this at Home Depot (a hardware store in the USA).

d.  The sink has a faucet extender that helps with handwashing as children can reach the flowing water.

e.  I have a chart on the wall with illustrations of the different types of bowel movements and what the body is trying to tell us.  Older children like to compare their bowel movements to the chart to find out what their body is trying to tell them.  We  call it the poop chart.  See below for photo of poop chart.

e.  All cabinets with supplies are locked for safety. 

f.  I have artwork to create an aesthetically pleasing environment along with pertinent signs on the walls.  For example, one such sign is a guide that showcases the steps to washing hands.

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4.  A positive verbal environment is created  around toilet learning as our words have power and become their inner voices.  I pay attention to my tone of voice and choose my words wisely.  Here are a few examples of what you may hear me say to the child during toilet learning:

a.  "You are holding the clean diaper.  You are being helpful."

b.  "Yes, you do have a big poop in your diaper.  Your body is doing what it is supposed to do.  It is getting rid of the excess and the waste."

c.  "You did it!  You peed in the toilet!"

d.  "Yes, you peed in your pants.    Let's get you changed into clean pants."

e.  "I am going to lift your legs up now" (pause and lift legs up)

f.  "Sometimes poop has an odor."

g. "You want to explore the toilet."

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I knew that my efforts to create a positive verbal environment was working when a 3.5 year old child said, "Abhi, come see my masterpiece" after having a bowel movement in the toilet without support.  She wanted me to come look at her poop in the toilet.  I did go see her poop and described what I saw.  Then she wanted to compare her poop to the illustrations on the poop chart to see what her body was telling her through her bowel movement.

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5.  Children are physiologically able to control their bladders starting around 2.5 years old.  This means I start discussions with families about the final stages of toilet learning only after the age of 2.5 years old.  The final stages of toilet learning includes transitioning to pull-ups/underwear and being able to use the toilet independently.  The discussions may include information on how to handle the situation when children pee or poop in their pull-ups/underwear, how to support emotional needs, how to negotiate without pressure, and overall attitudes towards this final transition before complete independence.

 

On another note, during this entire toilet learning process you will encounter others who may want to discuss your child's toilet learning process at different venues.  They may be motivated by curiosity and/or eagerness to share their own experiences.  Remember that your child's toilet learning should be kept private to preserve your child's dignity.  Your child may not like you discussing this with others.  These discussions may also put pressure on you and your child.  I encourage caregivers to have a script ready for when such moments arise.  Take on a listening role and/or re-direct the conversation by saying that you are following your child's cues and providing support as needed.  ​​

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